http://ceeswagnificent.blogspot.com/
knowledge is pain, that's why it hurts to know...
Eveerything here is strictly written by me unless stated.
Therefore, Copyrighted (c).
AUTOBIOGRAPHY
independant queen workin for her throne
" I know the world's cold and deceiving but I keep my head up like my nose is bleeding " - Lil Wayne
Cassandra N.R.T.'s the given name but people call me Cassie or Cas.
I got a smile on the face with a fuck you mentality. I'm hated and loved, but who isn't?
That typa girl who's called a bitch/asshole (whatever's negitive) because she speaks the truth.
In the teen years and is educated. I try my best not to regret because I only learn from my mistakes.
God and the ones I call family keep me going on the regular. My trust is limited. I know, sounds
cliche but it really is. Meaning I can count the selected ones I really trust with my own 2 hands.
Other than all the negative, i'm pretty chill once you get to know me.
Just like Kanye, Everything i'm not made me everything I am.
Get at me with something real. †♥$ ♪
Simply
Way
Abovethe
Game -
CNRT©
i'm driving myself insane
Tuesday, March 17, 2009 (6:57 PM)
ever since i woke up, ate breakfast, watched some tv and went on the computer i couldn't stop. i can't stop thinking about you. i log onto facebook for 1 main reason. to see if i got a message from you. did i yet? nope. i've been talking and blogging all about you since today started. that shows how much you do got me. it's not like you ever read my blog but i need to let everything out somehow. i fucking miss you, tru. now i know how it feels to not talk for a day or a while. i'm driving myself insane. truth is, i don't know whats going on. i seriously hope you didn't forget about me. you don't know how many times i wanted to burst out crying today because we haven't talked for a while. i held in my tears so the fam wouldn't question me why i was crying. how i held my tears, made it hard for me to breath. i'm worrying myself too much thinking what the fuck are you doing. did you forget about me? where the hell are you? i go onto facebook this morning, you tell me how you sneaked out to chill at your friends base, your bff. and then i go onto your profile and i see some next girl having fun writing on your wall posting so much stuff that made me a little jelly adding hearts to her posts. seems like she was being a flirt. tell me you weren't being a flirt back. please don't forget about me. i just want to talk to you to make me feel all better and smile. coz whenever i talk to you, you do make me smile. you dont know but i'm sure hella happy to be with you but when the communication doesn't happen between us for a while makes me worry so much. makes me think so much. i think so much to the point where it hurts. i fucken worry too much thinking so negative like lawd, what the fuck is wrong with me! baby you fucken got me and i fucken love and miss you. i swear this whole fucken day all i did was see if your on, see if i got a message from you and just think so much about you. don't get me wrong, i'm so fucken thankful i got you. i'm happy to call you my friend and i'm happier to call you my boyfriend. i don't want to loose you as my boy but i most likely don't want to loose you as a friend. today i sat infront of the computer reading the ENDLESS messages we always sent to each other every single day and how we like made a 'record' (lol). and i seen how corny we was and how slowly we was getting closer to each other. we talked everyday ever since god knows when. and the one day you said "i heard you liked me" i blushed, i turned red saying what the fuck! how the hell did you know. only coz i was scared that the bond between us would fade and become akward coz of me and what im feeling about you. but then you told me that i was in luck coz you liked me too. that made me smile you don't even know. and then you asked me to be your girl.. then the butterflies in my tummy came and the smile on my face just got bigger then it already was. you made my fucken day. and ever since then, you always made my day, you always made me smile. doesn't matter what we talk about, no matter what it is, as long as we talk, whenever we talk, you make me smile and laugh, i fucken love it. i fucken love you. and it kills me when we don't talk. it gets me fucken thinking and worrying. i drive myself insane, tru. its like i get fucken jelous when i see nex girls commenting up on your facebook and i'll admit that i kinda do. only coz your my man and i love you. and it fucken hurts to know that your also making other girls seem to smile? while i'm here sitting by the computer writing, blogging all about you, thinking of you and where the heck you are and what the hell you doing. you're probably out having so much fun with god knows who. i don't want you to forget about me. seriously, you got me. i've been fucken repeating myslef just like them love songs have been playing on repeat. i wish you knew how i feel right this moment. but you don't. as long as you're happy i guess i'm happy too. i rather see you smile then be upset. but on the realz, i rather have you home talking to me telling me how much you love me, thats why you're with me. you may be out happy having fun while i'm here worrying about you - the complete opposite. i don't know what the fuck is wrong with me but i fucking love you, tru. its like i can go the whole day writing on my fucken blog exposing all my feelings about you. i can go the whole day til you talk to me. i just wanna scream, you don't even know. i can see myself crying later on today because of you. don't anyone get me wrong coz i do know what i got myself into but i can't help my feelings. it is what it is and it's possible to love within a distance. what we have is nothing compared to our past.
