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knowledge is pain, that's why it hurts to know...

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fml, tru.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 (11:23 AM)

i got so many issues that never ever get solved. i always try and do things about this but nothing ever works. i hate worrying about things i shouldn't really be worrying about. i hate how i always think about things so hard that it kills me to the max. i hate how nothing ever works out for me. at least once, naaaw. 'FML, tru. tho i'm thankful for what i got and the smile makers. tho when i'm not happy i can truly never smile. if you see me smiling when im upset, obviously it's a fake smile. or you see me smile for like a split second and that smile just goes away so quick. what is this. venting, venting, venting - something i always seem to do when im upset. it's like.. a habit you can say. that shows how much i got so many fucken problems. 99 problems but a bitch aint one - fuck a bitch and a hater for all i care. you can say that i worry way too much that in the end there's nothing to worry about. but i never know til it happens. actions speak louder than words. too bad you aint here to show your actions so right now your words are your actions. i hope you know that you complete my days and i don't wanna loose you. you got me whippped, tru. know that i never stopped thinking about you ever since we started talking, you got me. i hope we can make it work, yes. " this can only be as good as we both make it, but sometimes its gona hurt " im feeelin neyo's song make it work. boy, you know you got me like, don't forget that. tell me that i have nothing to worry about, tell me i don't have anything to think so hard about. tell me there's nothing going on, tell me you love me and only me coz i do. i love you and you only. i swear, i haven't had this deep feeling in the longest time and now that i do i bring myself to my own drama get myself to thinking and worrying and in the end its bout nothing. i hope it stays like that. you boy, you are my one and only. you are the one that makes me smile. i go onto facebook just to check that number 1 beside inbox and hoping its a message from you. when i don't see that for a while, thats when i worry. what the hell have you been doing? did you forget me? you having your own fun out there when i'm here, bout to bring myself to tears? thinking where the hell are you. boy you seriously got me. maybe you can't tell but forreal look what you've done to me. you got me thinking like you the best ever. scratch that you ARE the fucken best, best i ever had. even if we're far more out, you out of everyone made me smile to the fullest each and every day. i really don't know what the hell it is, but something about you just makes me love you so much, more than ever. just make it work, make it last, all i'm wanting. 1-fucking -4-3, tru. you people think i'm crazy for getting myself into a long distance relationship? but i swear, you don't even know how i'm fucking feeling right now bout him. me and him have a past. and our past is NOTHING compared to what we have now. i love him more than ever. but yes don't get me wrong - i do know what i'm getting myself into and i don't blame none of you but myself. but forreal, its nothin but love.