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knowledge is pain, that's why it hurts to know...

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Leave Me ?

Tuesday, February 10, 2009 (5:12 PM)

I think its time to 'forget this shit' coz honestly nothing's happening .
Just friends will do. You seem to have many more out there for you
so why should i be the one that'll get hurt, like i always have. Thing
is, i'm not gonna be the one to get hurt from endless flirts. Honestly
after my 'life story' i can do way better now. Reason why I dont stay
commited or however you wanna say it is coz it's nothing if you think
about it. No seeings, no chill thangs, no nothing. Just a computer
screen. A computer screen don't hold my connections down, its things
that happen in person. Plus again, you seem to have others out there
so don't put the hurt on me. Don't even try to put the blame on me
for anything, coz we was nothing. You may think all i think and care
about is myself in this but no that's not true. The reason i act the way
i do is because we weren't ever even committed. I dont see why i need
to hold things down for the both of us when we is nothing. Nothing but
friends. I've hurt you once, i don't want to hurt you again. I know its
hard in every kind of situation and that's why. If i loose my feelings..
i kinda already did.. I don't want to be the one to let you down again.
I may seem like the perfect one, but i come off strong & i don't want
anythning to let me down, to let you down. If i let you down, i'll hurt
myself more than i've hurt you coz i hate doing this to people. I already
feel heartless towards you myself but it's coz it's just nothing no more.
It's not my fault feelings drift away, it's not yours either. It's just the
way things are. Take it in, i'm not sure about this whole thing anymore.
Doesn't even seem like anything no more, so why try? I'll be fine if you
forget me, leave me, stop feelin me. I promise i'll be just fine. I'm good.
Just trust me and don't worry about me anymore. Realtalkz, i'll be good.
I'm sure you've notice yourself that it seemed that things 'changed' but
it's alll me right? WRONG. It's not my fault feelings fade for the reasons
that things just don't happen. You see we've just been friends all this time
and our situations seem like a couple's situation but realtalkz we was never.
Maybe not now, coz i aint feelin it no more, maybe later? But to me, it seems
that you have many out there for you, that want you, so why don't you try
things with them. They seem to want you more than i ever did so whatever.
I hate breaking down things this way, its just coz i don't know how to front up.
Well I do know how, i just am too soft to? Yes I admit that i'm soft to tell you
things straight up just cause i don't want to hurt you ... again. i'm sorry, again.