http://ceeswagnificent.blogspot.com/
knowledge is pain, that's why it hurts to know...
Eveerything here is strictly written by me unless stated.
Therefore, Copyrighted (c).
AUTOBIOGRAPHY
independant queen workin for her throne
" I know the world's cold and deceiving but I keep my head up like my nose is bleeding " - Lil Wayne
Cassandra N.R.T.'s the given name but people call me Cassie or Cas.
I got a smile on the face with a fuck you mentality. I'm hated and loved, but who isn't?
That typa girl who's called a bitch/asshole (whatever's negitive) because she speaks the truth.
In the teen years and is educated. I try my best not to regret because I only learn from my mistakes.
God and the ones I call family keep me going on the regular. My trust is limited. I know, sounds
cliche but it really is. Meaning I can count the selected ones I really trust with my own 2 hands.
Other than all the negative, i'm pretty chill once you get to know me.
Just like Kanye, Everything i'm not made me everything I am.
Get at me with something real. †♥$ ♪
Simply
Way
Abovethe
Game -
CNRT©
rainy days
Saturday, May 30, 2009 (7:46 PM)
first off what the fuck is wrong with the weather!? i swear it was nice out, now all that fucking thunder, i hate it! anywhos. you aint goin anywhere - it bugs me. whatever. enough with the "fml's" because my life does not revolve around you. i'll stand strong and tall without you here. as i said in the past, i'm better than your ex and i'll be better than your next. love's so complicated alie? the right man will come along. i'm satisfied.
dreams, ohh
Thursday, May 28, 2009 (10:06 PM)
' Only in dreams i got a better life and I got you by my side so everyday I only feel like sleepin ... ' when dreams come to reality, that's when i'll smile big, that's when everything will be all good.
- - -
I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together than to have it easy apart
- Luther Vandross
so complicated
(8:17 PM)
was this your plan all along? coz that kinda got me still. that kinda put me in a bad mood. see, i don't understand you. ugh so difficult. now i shouldn't believe anything til i see it. " actions speak louder than words " unless you're just going with a plan to make me misrabley upset just because for 'revenge' i swear i didn't ever mean to let you down, it's just your actions; i don't understand. what you said sicken me in a way that i don't know if you were joking. are you letting karma hit me? karma's a bitch... always was and always will be.
' if ya like me keep me icey '
Wednesday, May 27, 2009 (9:57 PM)
sayin so many things to me yet i hear another - what's to believe? i mean i hear things from peopel who are close to me and how you gonna say they lying? i try to avoid it but that doesn't seem possible. you know how much i hate it when people feed me lies... i know i'm making it so hard and it seems errythang needs to be perfect but i just don't want the same mistake another time around, nawmean? i know i keep referring to that and as much as i should leave the past where it is - 'everything in the past had its purpose' truuuuue. don't jump to conclusions, everything can't work out so fast, it takes time .... / you somewhat make me feel like its my fault for all this negative shit, but on the reals i'm just tryna find out whats real good.
take me as i am
Tuesday, May 26, 2009 (10:04 PM)
She's been down and out
She's been wrote about
She's been talked about, constantly
She's been up and down
She's been pushed around
But they held her down, NYC
She has no regrets
She accepts the past
All these things they
helped make to make she
She's been lost and found
And she's still around
There's a reason for everything
hella mix up
(9:32 PM)
i keep bouncin back, the fuck is wrong with me. its the little things you say that make me smile and the little things you do that piss me off. what's your fucken problem. so how you gonna just do that now? how you gonna just delete yourself outta my system like that? you can't. it's impossible. that's why it gets to me so much with the shit you do. they say how you're just a phase. your obviously not just a phase. people wonder why i keep buggin, i wonder why i do this to myself... don't get me wrong; i'm glad i met you. nice to know people like you exist in this hectic world that im livin in. now you know how much you mean ... erks ! i'm better than whoever's gonna come along, yahhtrick.
you never miss a good thing til it's gone
And i'm still here, i haven't gone anywhere
(4:17 PM)
So maybe sometimes I come off strong but that's only because i've been through enough more than enough and I don't want to be upset over and over again. And maybe sometimes i'm a little too negative on things because for the same reasons. Don't take me as some toy, or as some little girl you can just play with. Treat me with respect, and just treat me right. On the reals, you know how I been and how my whole 'past' has been. From our realtalks and watnot, I swear you know nuff bout me by now, alie? I don't take 'love' or relationships, whatever you wanna call it as a game. Sorry if I offended you or brought you down a bit. I know i'm hard sometimes but I figure that's the only way to make it right. I feel that it's the only way you'll truly understand me because it'll be no joke. I know errythang's not perfect, I know things will come to complications and I know at some point arguments will come into place but a mistake again? I don't think i can take. It's all up to you now , I guess. I'ma complicated girl aren't I? Well let's see if you can handle this... ? It'll take awhile , tru. Let's just have our realtalks again without akward moments...
i don't think i'm what you're lookin for
Monday, May 25, 2009 (8:49 PM)
I'm not the one who will complete you and hold you down completely. Know why? Because I don't understand you and your movements. It's like you'll just take me for granted and show me off to your 'boys' bout you got a girl. Erks don't even treat me like a kid, coz ima lady. I been through nuff to know whats real good, alie? Don't waste your breath if you're gonna screw the fuck up and mess 'round with me coz you already did once. Now i kinda know your like every move and how you really is. You know how hard things get to me and the whole 'being upset' kinda tings. Honestly i think the farthest will ever get is being friends only. From what I see right now because you don't got yourself all figured out but you kinda think you know you got me figured out - which doesn't make any sense. You always tell me stuff and feed me your words when people tell me different things and I see something opposite of what you feed me. Cry me a damn river, I can handle myself.
fall back
(2:35 PM)
You made your mistake once and I don't want to deal with it again - you know how i is, you know what you once did to me. I don't understand you stills. Well i never did and i think i never will. You kinda got yourself all figured out about me but you do a next move which is like completely opposite. You can jump to conclusions all you want, i could care less. You still seem to have others up your sleeve either way and i aint gonna deal with that so i aint the one you lookin for so fall back. You know i don't like the playa kinda type, i like them gentlemens not them boys who gotta learn.
sick life, headache for days
Sunday, May 24, 2009 (7:47 PM)
Friday - wonderland was a blast, behemoth x4 - 3 times in a row, call me crazy, heck naw ! live tings. plus the funnel cake and whatever. and stupid bus ride home, there was no room on the bus i was on so i moved to the next bus and i was falling off the seat , whatever - good day i guess. Came home real fucking hot ... And now i'm just sick. Came home friday feeling dizzy and hot , i figured it was coz of wonderland and all the coasters but then woke up on saturday with a soar throat - i thought it was the coasters again coz i kept shouting on friday (lol) but then as the day went on i got a stuffy nose, and i just got really worse. I kept falling asleep for basically the whole day and everytime i woke up and got up i just lost my balance and couldn't stand for anymore longer. Sunday's here - still got the runny nose, and i swear i've got headahce for days ! Ugh i fuckin hate it. Being sick makes me so damn grumpy and cranky you don't understand, I HATE BEING SICK ! I barely get sick, that's probably why. Slept enough today once again because i just don't feel any better. People asking where the fuck i've been coz i haven't been on ugh its coz im sick. i swear i used a whole tissue box up already. Took my medicine and errythang, hopefully i'll be better soon times, on the reals. My eyes feel so whack too - WHAT THE FUCK. ugh i hate this .... Today rents were asking if i wanted to reach the mall with em, as much as i wanted to i just couldn't get myself up ! Whack tings. I don't even know if i'll be in school tmrw, i don't feel any better. Lemme say again, i hate being sick !
you can love me for who i am or hate me for who you think i am
Thursday, May 21, 2009 (6:58 PM)
light travels faster than sound that's why people appear bright til they open their mouth
what do you take me for? on the reals, i feel like waste just holding on and i find out how it's gonna end up being nothing because changes made and one just happened to be so big - to me. fuck a lie. i shoulda listened to myself when i told myself that it's just a dream that i'm chasing. a dream that's not soon to come true, now that is. after everything, you made me hold on strong thinking of potential and now it's just not gonna happen. i'm upset with you knowing how you did this to me, how could you? but then again i'm still happy i have you to talk to - you're there as my friend always. but i still can't believe this happened. honest to god, i held back just for you. on the fucken reals ! now i won't go on a daily ranting bout this shit, i had enough (i lied). there's gonna be another who's gona come along and that other will be as close as you, hopefully. mixed emotions - i hate it. i just didn't know it'd end up like this after everything. don't get me wrong coz ima treasure everyting witchu, homie . - i gotchu always and forever stills.
yours truly,
cassandra
untitled
(5:30 PM)
I won't let this get to me as bad but what the fuck... ugh so situations came up once which bugged me for quite sometime and something again. This time's bad-ish... WHY! I was looking forward to something and now it's not gonna happen. How you mean!? Now i can say, time was wasted.. but i don't wanna say that. Got my hopes up, and something to look forward to but now it's like nothing. I'm not gonna put my head down and keep life dull just because of this. I mean, at least you're still gonna be there to talk to on a daily right. But after everything like I can't even explain anymore ... Life's a bitch.
allow me to re-introduce myself ,
Wednesday, May 20, 2009 (8:46 PM)
i accpet the fact that things do come and go and everything happens for a reason - everything in the past had its purpose, tru? i can't simplify my whole life up to now - its impossible. so many things happened no lie. the ups and the downs, but whatever it made me who i am today and im standing tall. the family and the friends hold me down on a daily basis, they keep my head up. i dont need one man in particular to hold me down right now. still young and living the life. but mans can come then eventually go. i don't plan on getting married at this age - who in the right mind would :S but anyways, everyday i'm thankful for god to be there to keep me going, he's truly the one who brought me where i am now. sometimes it hurts they way my family looks at me because they look at me in all the negative ways they can but guess what fam? i'm not perfect, neither are you. i'm so sure you all made mistakes in your lives so don't act like i'm some phsyco retard. none the less, i love you - thank's for raising me like any other parent(s) would. well it is what it is, i won't make this any longer that you end up not reading the whole thing coz i have done that shit in the past (lol) . pointless but who said it was ever meant for you, life creepers...
man from the moon
Tuesday, May 19, 2009 (9:16 PM)
The ones that make it complicated
Never get congradulated
I'm somethin different in all aspects
Don't want a woman just to love her assets
- Kid Cudi
I go overboard, maybe I overreact.. or it just seems that way because none of you know how i feel. Man, i'm better than your ex, and i'm better than your next. I'm so sure about that coz no one holds you down like i do. I'm sure i'm the only one who cares about you most other than your family. I'm here for you, you're there for me - couldn't say more. Nun more, none the less - down to ride to the very end is me and one of my good freinds, i consider. You treat me well nuff.
if loving you is wrong i dont wanna be right
Monday, May 18, 2009 (6:04 PM)
Just because you've been running through my mind, that doesn't mean i want you right this moment. No i'm not whipped, i just.. couldn't ask for more. You're like my bestfriend because you're always there to talk to, and you know how to make me smile, tru. Just because i talk about you more than anyone else, that doesn't mean you're my boy - that just means i care about you lots. Wella thanks for being there always still. You the fucking best ;) ! I swear, i try to stop posting about your ass but i simply just can't, god knows what. Anywhos, i'll be patient for whatever.
ps. love doesn't always take consider into relationships of boyfriend and girlfriend
countdown to 15: 0
Sunday, May 17, 2009 (5:16 PM)
Happy birthday to moi ! ( thanks everybazzy for the greets ) Day has been pretty decent stills. Bare text messages and phone calls from people at 12, haha love you guys! Woke up and rents were gone i was like wdf and brother was still asleep. Then got a phone call from rents sayin how they're coming home so when they do, they hand me an envelope with 100 bucks in it, thanks mama&daddydukes ! <3 Then we went out for brunch then went to that new outlet down at donmills and it's pretty nice, i can't lie. But like half the stores aren't even done yet ! LOL Whatever i'm sure i'll be going back there for some mod shopping ;P Then went home to take a rest, had some cinimon buns - yum, one of my faves and when i went into the kitchen i didn't realize there was a cake for me til then ! Haha, aw i didn't think they'd get me a cake still. Up to now i didn't even see the cake! It's been in the box for a while now and they don't want me to see it yet - Wow, LOL. Birthday's not even done yet. Later on in like 2 hours i'll be going out for dinner with the fam and the cousins coz my dear cousin has the same birthday as me, and we're gonna celebrate it together at Taco Sushi at donmills haha. Birthday's been great so far being with the fam - love you all. Oh and can't forget about friday- even if everyone didn't make their ways, ate out at moxies for dinner after school and dayum we had the sexiest waiter out there! Remember, that joey diamond-george nozuka look-a-like!? Eff me now, his smile was so fucking adorable ! Ohhh man, weren't we smiling so big for having him!?! Hahaha ! So even if everyone didn't make it, i was still with them for awhile. Regardless, i love you guys off stillas !
May18, edited *
So the rest of last night was a blast ! (erks, i never said that in my life LOL) Went to taco sushi and had some yummy asss bento box with sushi and tempura and watfuckingnot! Haha. Then everyone came to my house, spent time with the little cousins still. Stayed at my house til 12 something and opened my gifts, got a shirt and the rest was the bills $$$ thanks everybazzy ! Still caked, zing !
you're not a snake, you're a cobra
Saturday, May 16, 2009 (1:08 PM)
You're not a snake, you're a cobra. Even worse. You're out in the jungle looking for food but all you do is fuck yourself over. You can't be trusted most def. Get a fucking life ! If you're gonna run your mouth about people, why don't you say it to their face instead like how you say your tough and all and you think your so big. Get at me with something real coz clearly your a fake who seriously can't be trusted.
Awwyeeeh !
Friday, May 15, 2009 (7:34 PM)
Through all the struggles, the problems, and the hardships, i'm still here standing tall as ever. You can say. Been through enough to bring myself down - Did it once, won't make any mistakes again. Lately everything seemed to be about you while I stayed ghost about it coz it seemed like nothing mattered. Though every one bit mattered to me, that is. Don't you notice how each time I say how i'm going to forget about it and not mind anything yet I keep thinking about it and I keep minding. Shows how much I care huh and how much you were are 'the fucking best'. I love how you're always there to talk to, at least once a day - it's like a daily dose to make me at least put on a smirk on the face. I love you, as a friend - don't get me wrong, don't get it twisted. He's just a friend, nun more, none the less.
EasyBreezey, 1FuckenLove.
PS 2 more days til my birthday :)
ready to kill with a smokin gun
Thursday, May 14, 2009 (10:07 PM)
It aint your fault boo,
I'm always here for you to talk to,
Hold your head high when you walk through,
Sometimes the devil's temptation would force you,
One thing about the Lord,
He'd never cross you,
Look at all the bad things that they tried to do to you,
And you're still queen of this earth and you're beautiful,
Everything happens for a reason,
If you ever need me,
Call me,
I'm coming through squeezing.
this shit's dope ! & deep
(8:56 PM)
I’m actually glad that you were bold and brave enough to call me
So, that we can discuss this woman to woman and try to work some of these things out
So, we can compare notes on some dates and times, and try to figure out some of his tired ass lies
I’m actually glad to be hearing from the lips that left the lip sticks on my man’s colla
Even though he told me he was working late, just tryna earn a couple extra dollas
And I loved and I trusted him, so his bullshit I would swallow
Even though my intuition would never let me sleep
So, I guess the gap in our relationship was where you thought you would fit in ?
Just an insecure woman chasing after a man who’s already got a woman
But your pussy is not deep enough for a real man to fall in love with,
And this we already know because see your skirt is so short that it already shows your best assets
So, there’s no point in wasting time tryna figure out what you’re thinking after all
He is not fucking you for your mind
And you’re still young at heart, so you think this is real cute
Telling your friends girl, he’s cheating on me because he really wants you
And the reality is we are nothing alike
When he can’t deal with all of me, he goes to you to get me off of his mind, but it never works
See, he gets real still as he lies between the sheets that he sees
And now he’s tuning you out because he’s picturing me
Because you put up with that shit that I just won’t deal with
Because I’m strong in who I am
And he loves that, he loves that about me
It’s just that sometimes he can’t stand the reality that he doesn’t deserve a woman like me
And when he feels that way, well hell…
That’s when he comes crawling to your dirty shit
And just like a child, you thought you would call me to share
Calling me to disclose with me the colour of my man’s underwear
And you tell me like I don’t already know
Hell, I bought ‘em
Tryna tell me about how my man fucks, bitch I taught him
So, why don’t you do me a favour
And when he comes over tonight, and he’s coming and you’re coming…
And you’re both coming at last,
Just simply lean back his head and look him deep in his eyes,
And you’ll see me, waving back at your ass .
- Thea Monyee
school's almost done, word
Tuesday, May 12, 2009 (9:31 PM)
Tell me how i decided to blog and 438597656 people started talking to me LOL so anyways,I don't want to say it coz i say it everyday. I'll make this post not about what my last few posts were freaking about. So let me move on, school's almost done but exams are coming up, already got my geo project in replacement for an exam - fml. I need to study my ass off especially in science and math. I swear i'm gonna start freaking coz studying just never works out with me. Let's see, my grade nine, freshman year seemed pretty hectic. Took me long enough to get use to the whole highschool system, i mean i kinda miss recess LOL. Whatever, in the end - i better have passed every 8 freaking subjects. Stupid nonsemestered ! Like frig tho' i don't want to go to summer school, realtalks - school in the summer will not make me happy. I already don't like going to school so what makes you think i'll like summer school ha! Plus summer should be good, hopefully; if you catch my drift...
why hello there .
Monday, May 11, 2009 (9:03 PM)
look at that A-Fro behind , you know; Asian-Fro...
LOL.
sweet and yet so unpredictable
(8:46 PM)
Sometimes you can be so sweet and yet so unpredictable. The little things you do, the corny & funny shit you say - still makes me smile. Then you come up with some next move which i clearly don't understand that gets me to thinking. It gets me to doubt you, which i don't want to do. I seriously need to shut the fuck up about this huh (lol). I swear everytime i forget, it's like something stops me from forgetting. I promised myself I wouldn't say another word, but I did. Infact, I said a mouthful of words. I honestly can't help it. I'm not even upset or whatever, 'helpless' so you could care less. I'm happy and satisfied with whatever right now. It's almost summer ....... " Good things come to those who wait " so i've heard. I guess I should wait and me being patient about it better be worth it.
times are hard
Sunday, May 10, 2009 (6:13 PM)
life's like a box of chocolates - you never know what you gon get
now you're so unpredictable somewhat. i felt that i knew you and your every move. well thats how it felt before coz i really do know you. and what i figured happened, and what i thought was right. and now you keep coming and going, what is this. i mean, you're still the same person - that i know. because the corny jokes you always say to me - you still do, and thats what i like about you. ha ! yeah, you come up a lot. but realtalks, i don't want you to keep coming at me and then end up just leaving. like stay fucking true k. nothing's gonna be perfect - neither of us are ever gonna be perfect. the way we both hold it down is what's gonna make it work. tell me how i still kinda feel selfish but whatever. everything in the past made me who i am. then again, everything in the past had its purpose. make promises, don't break em. maybe you don't mean the world to me anymore. don't get me wrong coz you still obviously do mean something to me, a special something possibly. but let's not go there. let's keep this short and sweet simple - i will never forget. erksyeah, i went off again. 1FuckenLove tho'
the right side of your brain
(12:21 PM)
you feed me your lies, words like pie you want me baby, then you unwant me baby outsmart me baby, now im all crazy but i should be ashamed cause i let you do me this way and its unfortunate, that when your in love you never use the right side of your brain
- the dream
And life goes on
(11:45 AM)
Lately everything seems dull, ugh whatevs. School's almost done - hopefully I didn't fail my ass, though I know I didn't do my best. Other than that, it's almost summer. Remember, it's when you said that you were gonna make your way here. Now that didn't seem long did it, figuring how we talk everyday. Hopefully you're still gonna make that flight. Hah, i'm sucha loser.
I lied when I promised myself I wouldn't mention something bout uoy again.
Other than all the negative, it's almost my birthday :) - 7 more days beyotch !
Just some thoughts ,
Tuesday, May 5, 2009 (6:39 PM)
Take it in, i'm not a rebound. I'm lookin for someone who's down for me, not someone who'll ride for free. I'm not gonna be your dime, nickel or penny - i'm not money. Plus real men carry the bills, not the change. If you're truly gonna love, you'll stick with me through thick and thin and through the ups and downs - you won't leave me like i have no feelings at all. You'll promise to be there even though whatever happens - you won't forget me. I'll rather have a man who's gonna learn to be a gentlemen other than those so-called gentlements who can't treat you right. You can't play the game if you won't know how to treat a lady. Scratch that, love's not even a game.
Learn to treat a lady with respect.
- yours truly, ceeswagnificent
ps. yes, i did do that on my own.
life's like a magazine - it got so many issues
(5:05 PM)
feelin much more better today
i'm gonna pick up and find my way
changes made, many obstacles faced
but that seems to always the case
as life goes on i'll probably face even worse
so ima treasure everythin now as i write this verse
came across problems i thought id never get over
felt the need of luck from a four-leaf clover
took in music cause i love it with a passion
and for myself only, i made changes happen
it was all just for the better for myself
never will i throw a problem on the shelf
take a daily dose of watever for some fluid
to keep me strong - coz i can get through this
so even if i'm only standing at 5'2, ima stand tall
i will never ever let a man let me fall
as this verse comes to its conclusion
ima accept the fact that i was once loosin'
and now i realize how life is a movie
but it is what it is, so ima just do me
- yours truly, ceeswagnificent
nothing's quite that bad
Monday, May 4, 2009 (5:18 PM)
I'm gonna live the good life, better than you ever lived it up. You, me, don't wanna see those frowns on my face anymore. It's for the best. Til time comes, and time will tell - what's real fucken good. For now, I can't do nothing about it, and i'll let it be. Goin with the flow. Simple as that. Haven't had much to say lately because whatever. There's not much on the mind right now ever since i promised to not talk about it again. So i'll find new topics. Head's always gonna be up.
you see it all in my smile, you hear it all in my laugh, the way i walk you hear me talkin no, im no longer sad. i've got more reason to smile, more now than i've ever had, open my eyes and realized, that nothing's quite that bad, i've got a different approach to dealin with emotion. keepin control of my boat while drifting on this ocean, keeping my head to the sky, keepin tears outta my eyes unless hapiness be the reason that i decide to cry
And life's too short to dwell on all that's wrong...
Houstatlantavegas
(5:13 PM)
She dont wanna leave, she just stuck in.. Houstatlantavegas
She doesnt ever worry, if she wants it she'll get it on her own
She knows theres more to life, and shes scared of ending up alone.
This is the very last of it.
make movements
Sunday, May 3, 2009 (1:56 PM)
With the world changing and people changing - everyone seems to be making movements. Things are starting to become meaningless in my eyes. It's time i move the fuck on, true. Well i'm progressing, it just takes more time then usual. Everything seems to be for the best. Well if it's for the best then why do I feel helpless.
