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knowledge is pain, that's why it hurts to know...

Eveerything here is strictly written by me unless stated.
Therefore, Copyrighted (c).

You're gone, different and i could careless.

Thursday, February 26, 2009 (8:37 PM)

And well i dont know why you keep coming back to me. As if i was youreverything, as if i was that special someone of yours. I'm not and i'mtotally fine with that. You made me who i am, you made me stronger...Because of you - i am who i am and i'm standing taller than you. You'repathetic. You wasted my time forreal. You always assumed thingsmaking it change everything and when i say everything i mean every-thing. You went from one to many. You went from flirt to nobody. Yeti just don't understand. Why would you do sucha thing. After i've told youabout my past and regrets. You told me things and i took it in deep;making my final decisions and you took it wrong. But whatever i couldhonestly careless about that. Coz i dont want you & i don't need you.But then again i love how you say that you're here for me. You'll alwaysbe there to talk to. When i have problems and issues, i can come to you.That aint gonna work coz your the problem, you're the issue. Your sodifferent and your so confusing you can never know whats good with you.So whats the point of telling you things? Your so difficult, dont even lie.You know it but you just deny it. I can tell you now that i dont think i'llever want you. When your hurt and down and upset because of what yourgirl did to you, you can come to me. You can come to me to talk to butdon't start ranting about her to me and your little issues with her cozi won't give 2 fucks, i won't care at all. You hurt me & well you'll knowhow i felt. YES? yes. Don't talk to me when you have your littleargument with her thinking i can be your next girl. Don't come to me asim a rebound girl. Just don't even try. Because i don't want you. Andi don't want to fall for you. You've hurt me more than once, done so manyshit, talked so many shit. And you think i can be 'the one' my asss okay.This shi might've come out hard, but its the truth. You say you want tokeep the friendship strong. But whats there to keep strong when you'vecompletely changed from a man to a boy. How sad. I don't know whatsthere to keep strong. You lie and you've lied to me. You said so manythinkings just hoping i'd fall for that shit. But thank god i didn't. Honestlyi deserve better and i know it. So then again, whats there to keep holdof when you're just going to come to me when you want some next girl.You say so many things and sometimes it don't even make sense. I dontsee where i hide things from you coz i don't. I don't have anything tohide from you, i've told you everthing, whats there to hide? You say youwant me to come to you when i'm down, you won't make me better.You'll just make me think of the hurtful part. You'll probably say thingsthat everyone else would say "head up" blahblahblah. I hear it all thetime. Then again, when you tell me head up, you probably say it coz youhave nothing else better to say. I want the truth. I haven't been gettingmuch of that from you. Actions speak louder than words. Maybe if youshowed that you cared then i'd believe your shit. But since you're alltalk, then i can't fall for shit. Its final when i say thati don't want you, i don't really need you - i got better ones .And for you to come back, never please, never.

Waste ?

Thursday, February 19, 2009 (6:28 PM)

Why yes, everything was a waste. And i aint dealin with it no more." That don't kill me, it only make me stronger " , whaddap !So forget it, ima forget it straight. Can't nothin put me down. Coz Iam stronger than ever. No boost, forreal now. Tired of the fuckeryI EVER been thru and i don't need that kinda shit once again.You do your thing while I do mine. I'm gonna shine brighter than you.I'm gonna stand taller than you and be stronger than you. Whenyour gonna be down from the heartache & heartbreak, don't cometo me and make me a rebound shit. Coz i aint standin as that. Imgon get at someone better that will treat me and know me better.Im not gonna stand as one who you can get at when you're donewith someone. Player movements right there. Showing you canmove on so quick.. okay whatever. Nuff stressing forreal. Im sickalready & been thru anything and everything & I DONT need this.Whats REAL good .

F.U.C.K. it

Wednesday, February 18, 2009 (9:25 PM)

like i said - i'm not needed anymore. who figured? i sure didn't .whatever. i'm through & fuck it. i'm not gonna hurt from this andim not gonna let this 'break me' coz nothing will or ima break youhaha i joke. but seriously yeah its whatever now. karma? whatevers.you say things that i thought was true, guess they were lies ? idk.things were assumed instead of finding out the truth making every-thing a big mess. but its whatever now. i don't want to make yourthing complicated. i'll go find my one ." i'm better than your ex & i'll be better than your next "whaddap.

Come correct or not at all

Monday, February 16, 2009 (3:23 PM)

There's so many mans out there who seem to be the one
Just coz there's communication involved and having fun
But this time its like the complete opposite feeling
There's a lot to choose from but none know the meaning
The meaning of LOVE and what its truly, madly, deeply bout
They leave you like it's nothing, making you wana knock em out
Sometimes we don't respect each other good enough
Sometimes we both make a relationship complicated and rough
In the beginning it'd seem like you've found the perfect 'one'
Make each other smile, keep each other happy and stunned,
Think everything's perfect and amazing til everything fades
And then y'all break up thinkin why that one didn't stay
It came down to arguments about everything and what you had
Thinking about everything leaving one lonely, sad and mad
Though everyone's heard the phrase "no one is perfect"
And so it's possible for things to come down to a wreck
Even if it's not the best feeling to feel hurt and heartbroken
Smile and be happy that you gave it a try and kept it open
Knowing that at least you ever gave the relationship a try
You really shouldn't be upset and leave yourself to cry
Coz right through the complications you should see
That the two of you, just weren't really meant to be
Maybe what you had wasn't really called love ,
But don't worry and talk to the one up above
The feeling was probably was just an ordinary crush
So there really is no point to get into rush
Sometimes the situations can go completely wrong
But don't worry, stay up and just hold on strong
Don't act like the world has come to an end
Coz you know you got god, family and friends

by: the one & only, yours truly,
Cassandra Nicole R. T.

get at me with something good

Let me say it one last time

Thursday, February 12, 2009 (6:08 PM)

You don't need me no more.
You got next ones up ya sleeve.
And guess what?
I aint gonna hurt no more.
Coz realtalkz, move on.
I'm good - Just Friends.
As i said, i don't want to hurt.
Honestly i moved on since.
And i seem to be doing fine without you.
Just forget me.

Take it in.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009 (7:54 PM)

"I'm selfish, impatient & a little insecure.
I make mistakes, I'm out of control and
at times I'm hard to handle.
But if you can't handle me at my worst,
then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
- Marilyn Monroe

This is really pathetic.

(6:57 PM)

So i've hurt you more than once alie? I hurt you once just coz i didn't want to
hurt you again. I didn't want to be known as one of those same people from
your past. You didn't move on, and i hurt you again? Can't blame me, like
seriously! I told you once, didn't listen. Everytime i try to do right, something
goes wrong. Everytime i try to fix that wrong, nothing comes close to right.
Why is everytime i make decissions it's always a "mistake" to you. I don't
only think about me, myself and i. Why do you think I made my final
decission? Its mostly about you, me not wanting to hurt you. Like whoa and
you gonna put the blame on me. Well don't, shit. As I said, it seems like you
have many many more out there for you. And it's like you've moved on,
finally. But you moved on quick. Just last night I was the one who hurt you
again and today it's like you got a next girl. Yes that shows how much every-
thing you ever said to me was so true. No. It shows how much of a waste
of my time everything was and how it shows that you DO got many out there
for you. You'll say you've wasted your time, but no you didn't coz you gave it
a try. You tried and well your best wasn't what i wanted. Everyone can't
fall deep for you. But you sure have wasted my time. Moving on so quick
WOW. everything you probably ever told me was some shit to lead me on.
You almost lead me on, but i did think hard enough to make my final decission.
Honestly tho, your sucha hippocrite. You say how all these peole led you on
and whatever. But look what you just did to me. Honestly now ! Just look at
yourself. ALREADY got some next girl in mind. Wow. Its whatever. Everythin
can completely be done with. Lie to me? Let me lie back. I LIED. I'm not gonna
be some bitchass that does the kinda shit you do.

Leave Me ?

Tuesday, February 10, 2009 (5:12 PM)

I think its time to 'forget this shit' coz honestly nothing's happening .
Just friends will do. You seem to have many more out there for you
so why should i be the one that'll get hurt, like i always have. Thing
is, i'm not gonna be the one to get hurt from endless flirts. Honestly
after my 'life story' i can do way better now. Reason why I dont stay
commited or however you wanna say it is coz it's nothing if you think
about it. No seeings, no chill thangs, no nothing. Just a computer
screen. A computer screen don't hold my connections down, its things
that happen in person. Plus again, you seem to have others out there
so don't put the hurt on me. Don't even try to put the blame on me
for anything, coz we was nothing. You may think all i think and care
about is myself in this but no that's not true. The reason i act the way
i do is because we weren't ever even committed. I dont see why i need
to hold things down for the both of us when we is nothing. Nothing but
friends. I've hurt you once, i don't want to hurt you again. I know its
hard in every kind of situation and that's why. If i loose my feelings..
i kinda already did.. I don't want to be the one to let you down again.
I may seem like the perfect one, but i come off strong & i don't want
anythning to let me down, to let you down. If i let you down, i'll hurt
myself more than i've hurt you coz i hate doing this to people. I already
feel heartless towards you myself but it's coz it's just nothing no more.
It's not my fault feelings drift away, it's not yours either. It's just the
way things are. Take it in, i'm not sure about this whole thing anymore.
Doesn't even seem like anything no more, so why try? I'll be fine if you
forget me, leave me, stop feelin me. I promise i'll be just fine. I'm good.
Just trust me and don't worry about me anymore. Realtalkz, i'll be good.
I'm sure you've notice yourself that it seemed that things 'changed' but
it's alll me right? WRONG. It's not my fault feelings fade for the reasons
that things just don't happen. You see we've just been friends all this time
and our situations seem like a couple's situation but realtalkz we was never.
Maybe not now, coz i aint feelin it no more, maybe later? But to me, it seems
that you have many out there for you, that want you, so why don't you try
things with them. They seem to want you more than i ever did so whatever.
I hate breaking down things this way, its just coz i don't know how to front up.
Well I do know how, i just am too soft to? Yes I admit that i'm soft to tell you
things straight up just cause i don't want to hurt you ... again. i'm sorry, again.

Nice to know your boo care for me too.

Saturday, February 7, 2009 (3:27 PM)

bitch, take in the title.

you see me? hi hater
okay so like there's this person out there and you should know who you are.
you're fucking whack ! i swear to god, say shit to my face ! and fyi your a slu.
i love how "your mans" are my friends too and when you're with them, you
go on their account and delete me off it. lmao wtf is wrong with you. you think
that does something? honestly. your desperate thats all. i dont see how you get
people cozthey NEVER see you, forreal now. your older and you act way younger.
your so foolish like wtf. waste cyattie whatever. your a friend up too, i swear your
so !#$% shoot man. why dont you SHOW YOURSELF out there for onceand people
will believe who you really are.. instead of hiding yourself behind a computerscreen.
maybe thats why people call you a fake. honestly, i hear em out ! you fake.you hoe.
whoa man your just a piss off ! realtalks. there's a reason why i dont talk to you anymore,
thank god for that ! you stupid bitch .i swear i stopped talking to you for a reason..
the reason which is, you shit talk too much and you cause so much drama and get me
involved, missy you don't even know me, you don't even know ANYONE like what the fuck!
and you keep coming back becasue you piss me off so damn much ! shit man. get the
fuck out of my life i swear. you block me on msn, delete me off facebook thinking that'll
fix things? well no it doesn't. you're just scared coz whenever i confront you
you KNOW i'm right and you pussy out, left speachless coz im RIGHT. fucking hoe.

your so luck i'm not exposing who you are...
YET. ya you heard me YET

Who knew people were so interested with my life. aha

Wednesday, February 4, 2009 (4:25 PM)

i hate this part right here. "this stuff right here is some truthful shit"

fuck i just cant take myself anymore. seems like no one gets me so whats the
point? i dont even get myself anymore. everytime i try to do right something
goes wrong. and this wrong just gets to me so much. i admit that sometimes i
take things too serious but sometimes its best because i'm done with this
foolish-ness that i've been thru each time. i hate the feeling of hurting someone
and i hate being hurt. whenever i hurt someone i hurt myself even more.
i keep hurting inside. things are getting a little too serious and im getting scared.
im already feeling pain from such a thing... now what? if we're already hurting
what makes it seem that we can never hurt again? i dont wanna hurt. thats the
worst feeling and i feel the worst. communication is such key but if you aint gonna
speak what ya feelin then how can it ever work alie? im so lost and confused with
myself. life's a bitch but live with it coz it only happens once. i wish i knew whats
real good inside but i obviously dont. i dont know where my hearts at and i cant
lie about that - my hearts in 2 different places. seems like my hearts with
everyone but me. everything just means nothing if im not feelin alright. when
im not okay the only thing that can make me satisfied is to fix the problem. god
knows what. but what'd i say? its a new year and the drama's still
here. 808s & heartbreaks and here i stand in 09 feelin the same shit.
i cant stand the pain but if love is pain then im feelin it. if loving is wrong then i
dont wanna be right but sometimes i am and sometimes thats just best.
i hate this part right here.
"this stuff right here is some truthful shit"

Wondering why your in my dreams

Sunday, February 1, 2009 (1:39 PM)

♪♫ Whenever you walk pass by
I feel giddy inside
And my heart skips a beat or two
Wondering why your in my dreams
Something I can't figure out
But all I know is that its you

Everytime I see you I, I dont know what to say
Maybe it's me cause I think about you everyday
Your smile your happiness is the key to my heart
Please don't look the other way
What else can I say Im telling you the truth
You gotta let me know If im wasting my time
Can you help me ~~girl~~ boy
Cause I, I dont know what to do
All I can do is hope you feel the same way too

Hey love look what you`ve done to me

(1:37 PM)

♪♫ Hey love look what you`ve done to me
Got me thinking like you`re my everything
Say yes don`t say no, ~~girl~~ boy i `m losing control
Just thinking of you, no one else will do

Now baby girl boy I aint gonna lie (aint gonna lie)
You’re the apple of my eye (of my eye)
There’s no one else for me but you (no one else for me but you)
Now baby it `s obvious that i `m letting you hold my trust
I wanna be with you forever through eternityy

Can I know what `s on your mind (on your mind)
I hope the feelings you feel are the same as mine
`Cause I `m not trynna pretend
I wanna be with you until the end
The end yeaah yeaah oh

And it's hard for me to trust someone again..

(1:35 PM)

♪♫ It's been a while since I've had a man..
And it's hard for me to trust someone again..
I know that with you I know I won't get hurt,
Because you want a life that I know won't hurt

Baby, I've been waiting for you to say those words,
Cause I feel the same way too,
I'm so scared but I want to be with you,
And I'm willing to try with you baby...