http://ceeswagnificent.blogspot.com/
knowledge is pain, that's why it hurts to know...
Eveerything here is strictly written by me unless stated.
Therefore, Copyrighted (c).
AUTOBIOGRAPHY
independant queen workin for her throne
" I know the world's cold and deceiving but I keep my head up like my nose is bleeding " - Lil Wayne
Cassandra N.R.T.'s the given name but people call me Cassie or Cas.
I got a smile on the face with a fuck you mentality. I'm hated and loved, but who isn't?
That typa girl who's called a bitch/asshole (whatever's negitive) because she speaks the truth.
In the teen years and is educated. I try my best not to regret because I only learn from my mistakes.
God and the ones I call family keep me going on the regular. My trust is limited. I know, sounds
cliche but it really is. Meaning I can count the selected ones I really trust with my own 2 hands.
Other than all the negative, i'm pretty chill once you get to know me.
Just like Kanye, Everything i'm not made me everything I am.
Get at me with something real. †♥$ ♪
Simply
Way
Abovethe
Game -
CNRT©
word is bond, realtalkz.
Saturday, January 31, 2009 (10:59 PM)
why does it seem that barely anyone's there for me no more? the ones that talk
to me and care bout me and my problems so much are the ones that i barely see
they're the ones who ask me "whats wrong" when im down. what is this? honestly.
they're the ones who are there for me and who 'got my back' sometimes it may
seem that i dont got your back for some people but maybe its because i never
know whats good with you guys no more. its not like i can ever help you with your
problems that you got if i don't even know whats going on. just know that i'm still
gonna be there for you whenever coz i DO got chu even if its like you dont got me
but realtalkz, i be loving you guys long time forreal ! get at me with something good
where my mains at? i don't know. i know who my true mains are & they should know
who they are themselves. i got you for daysss !
And it'd feel so nice if someone sang this to me
(12:16 PM)
♪♫ La la da da da (la la da da da) Yea yea yea (yea yea yea) Tell me what’s
wrong pretty lady, Cause you’re looking lonely tonight, I know I can fix that,
Do you want to chill if it’s alright, with you lady. Now I’m not tryna holler at
you (no, no), And girl don’t take me for a fool, But I gotta let you know, that
I’m digging you (yea, yea), And I really really wanna be cool with you, listen
baby. Ain’t tryna rush into anything, Ain’t tryna wear no wedding ring, I just
wanna be cool with you lady. And no, im not tryna get ahead, Ain’t tryna get
you in my bed, I just wanna be cool with you. La la da da da da da, oooooh
It’s a melody when I think of you (hey yea yea), You’ve got my head spinning
round, and round, and round and round and round, And you turn my frown
upside down. Please, don’t dismiss everything I’m saying, And I want you to
know, that I aint playing. So would it be too much if I asked to chill with you,
Don’t call it a first date (no, no), Cause I just wanna be cool. Ain’t tryna rush into
anything, Ain’t tryna wear no wedding ring, I just wanna be cool (oooh), And no,
I’m not tryna get ahead, Ain’t tryna get you in my bed, I just wanna be cool with
you (yea). Ain’t tryna rush into anything, Ain’t tryna wear no wedding ring, I just
wanna be cool. And no, I’m not tryna get ahead, Ain’t tryna get you in my bed, I
just wanna be cool with you. (x2)
Self-Explanitory
Thursday, January 29, 2009 (9:02 PM)
Get it together - you can do better
Seeing’s believing
And I see what you need so
I’m gone play my position
Let you catch what you’ve been missing
I’m calling out, girl boy 'cause I can’t help but wait
A WHADIS !?
Wednesday, January 28, 2009 (8:37 PM)
♪♫ Have you ever loved somebody so muchIt makes you cryHave you ever needed
something so badYou can't sleep at nightHave you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out rightHave you ever,have you everHave you ever been
in loveBeen in love so badYou'd do anything to make them understandHave you
ever had someone steal your heart awayYou'd give anything up to make them
feel the sameHave you ever searched for words to get you in their heartBut you
don't know what to sayAnd you don't know where to start Have you ever
loved somebody so muchIt makes you cryHave you ever needed something so
badYou can't sleep at nightHave you ever tried to find the wordsBut they don't
come out rightHave you ever,have you everHave you ever found the oneYou've
dreamed of all your lifeYou'd do just about anything to look into their eyesHave
you finally found the one you've given your heart toOnly to find that one won't
give their heart to youHave you ever closed your eyes andDreamed that they
were thereAnd all you can do is wait for that daywhen they will care
Have you ever loved somebody so muchIt makes you cryHave you ever needed
something so badYou can't sleep at nightHave you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out rightHave you ever,have you everWhat do I gotta do
to get you in my arms babyWhat do I gotta say to get to your heartTo make
you understand how I need you next to meGotta get you in my world'Cuz baby
I can't sleep Have you ever?
You're there to talk to. I have things to say, just don't know how to say.
Seeing you pass by day by day, makin me want to holla but i just don't
know how. You took my heart away. I want you to understand, I want
to get that jooked in ya head. It's like i'd do anything to get at that.
SOFTtings, me; why yes. shut up bitches! lmao. Yo & honestly I been
having dreams about you lately. i aint lying, realtalkz! awahdies?
Weak
Tuesday, January 27, 2009 (8:59 PM)
♪♫ I don't know what it is that you've done to me But it's caused me to act in
such a crazy wayWhatever it is that you do when you do what you're doing
It's a feeling that I want to stay'Cuz my heart starts beating triple time
With thoughts of lovin' you on my mindI can't figure out just what to do
When the cause and cure is you, you I get so weak in the kneesI can hardly
speak, I lose all controlThen somethin' takes over meIn a daze, your love's so
amazingIt's not a phaseI want you to stay with me, by my sideI swallow my
prideYour love is so sweet, it knocks me right off of my feetCan't explain why
your lovin' makes me weak Time after time after time I've tried to fight it
But your love is strong, it keeps on holdin' onResistance is down when you're
around, pride's fadingIn my condition I don't want to be alone'Cuz my heart
starts beating triple timeWith thoughts of lovin' you on my mindI can't figure
out just what to doWhen the cause and cure is you, you I've tried hard to fight
it No way can I deny itYour love's so sweetIt knocks me off my feet I get so
weakBlood starts racing through my veinsI get so weakBoy it's somethin' I can't
explainI get so weakSomethin' 'bout the way you do the things you're doin
Knocks me right off of my feet Can't explain why your lovin' makes me weak
Whacker tings. i'm missin the status. seeing everyone smilin wit it, i aint like yall.
But aye!, someone caught tha eye. & He gotta be the one to tell me its possible
A feeling that something's missing...
Monday, January 26, 2009 (7:03 PM)
don't you love the feeling when you're being held in ones arms? that feeling -
knowing that your loved by someone and knowing they're going to be there
for you. the one who makes you smile, the one who makes you happy. that
feeling of whatchu call love. whatta feelin. it feels nice being with someone.
someone there to keep you warm and hold your hand. man's there to
protect you. comes with surprises just to make you smile for him. i know
how it feels & the feeling's good. i miss the feeling. where's my man at? yes
i know - patience is key. the right man will come. but at this age - most
likely no right man is to come my way or anyone's way. we youngins
thinkin a relationship at like 14 can last forever - it can, but most likely not.
there's many more years to meet people and find better people out there.
and when we older - that's when things can get more serious. we can enjoy
relationships now, yes it feels nice, very. feels like it can last forever. holla
at me when it does from now til forever & i'll be damn proud of you - that
you made it last. even if i'm saying enough things about how them relationships
won't last forever - i still can stay commited. i definately can, no doubt. i can
make things work - the things may not work out til forever but it can last a while
if we both stay commited. trust-worthy, love, care & respect. i've had experience
& yes it's not lovely when you get your heart broken - but what happens,
happens - it 'wasn't meant it be' but be happy that it happened & at least you
gave it a try coz if you didn't even give it a try then you'd never know. on the
other hand "if you love something then let it go, and if it comes back then that's
how you'll know" let it go, and if it comes back - it never comes back, now you
regret letting it go. that's why i say, you don't let go unless you really mean to.
i'm missing something - the one thing that'd complete me, that one thing that'd
make me smile - where YOU at? mans may come my way, and they may fall for me
but for some - i'm not into you. you just don't seem my kinda type (sorry) im
not tryna be mean or anything. i'm just saying - just so i wouldn't hurt you in
the long run. if i was feelin you too then i'd let you know. mans come and go,
sometimes the ones that go are the ones you want and the ones that come are the
ones you don't want. i'm not in love with my ex. i'm wanting someone(?) and it
just feels like nothing would ever happen? the feeling feels impossible and i want
you to be the one to tell me that it's not impossible.
Word Is Bond, most def.
Saturday, January 24, 2009 (12:42 PM)
so my 09 started off with drama and bullshit as you can see from last posts?
its the 24th day of the new year and i guess i can say things are settle. i
haven't posted much about wastes or i haven't been venting so much. now it
seems like its a 'new' year. but it seems dull out there. or its just that people
are different and they got their priorities mixed up like whoa. i think people
change and they don't even realize they do til someone tells them. but
whatever, i'm not gonna let that get to me, coz it's them & not me -
its not my problem. im still hoping for the best but im still knowing drama
will continue to happen and watnot, heart aches & heart breaks. but thats
how life is alie. i don't control the world and the problems in it im part of
the world, im like an ant in the whole world, a small little thing that can
get stepped on. emotions aren't going to take over me. and i will
definately stand strong. even though i may appear weak in your eyes,
i'll hold on strong. i sometimes come off anonymous - no one knows whats
good with me. but thats coz my trust is way limited - trust is forever limited.
it seems that when i let one person know something it gets around way too fast.
people can't tell me "what do you expect, we're in a new environment" . they're
wrong. what would i expect, you ask? well i expect your trust, thats why i'd let you
know things. you can't tell me "what do you expect, we're in a new environment"
i don't care, i earned your trust and what? you take advantage of me just telling
you things, bun that - trust is forever llimited. its whatever. the ones i
expect to be there are never there anymore. & its not a crime to speak my mind
- coz thats what i do. don't like it? then front up. & don't assume things coz i
dont write to cause drama and fights and watnot.
Where the One Thing at?
Friday, January 23, 2009 (7:42 PM)
WHERE THE ONE THING AT?
i can def. hold it down once you
just get to know me. ill be the best
commitments. trust. love - thatsgood.
Lovely, just lovely.
(7:34 PM)
one of em' all time favourite songs ;
♪♫ I see the couples are walkin` byFeel like I Don`t wanna be alone today So glad
no one can see what I hide Deep inside How it feels to be The girl who never gets
the right guy Tell me why When there`s so much I`ve got to give I wake up
reaching out in the night Ready to hold him tight`Til I realize That nobody is there
When will it be me? When will I be the one Somebody`s dreaming of? When`s it
gonna be? When will I find my heart Lyin` inside the arms That never let me go?
I`d really like to know When will it be me? My friends seem to have all the love
Knocks on their door and walks right in I know that I am worthy of what I`ve been
wishing for I can`t wait no more Love`s nowhere to be found Feeling his tender
touch Talkin` bout forever together Givin` him all my love That`s been trying to
break free Don`t wanna be alone No more I`m telling you what I need I want someone
who loves me for me And when will it be? Wonder when it will be me? I ask myself
When will it be me?
mad sexy cool
Wednesday, January 21, 2009 (8:44 PM)
You be ruling with a certain shade of cool
I dont know no body half as fresh as you
I be checkin your behaviour
Oh baby you got so much flavour
Sometimes I wanna call you juicy fruit
It aint like I gotta tell you your a star
You be shining and be sparkling in the dark
Girl Boy you so perfect
'If' Ever *sigh.
(8:14 PM)
Coz y'all, im missin that One Thing
it feels Impossible ...
tell me it's not.
I simply wanna be
I'm set free
Questions come to me
& Hopefully you see.
You gon be blinded by love
Will we ever become ?
Ima put chu on lock.
Coz with me is where its at.
One day, we make that vow
Baby ima be able to say, ILoveYou.
Just WOW.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009 (4:33 PM)
i don't know what's gotten into ya. you act like i aint part of ya life like!? you was close to me - nh' and now its like back the eff off. what happened yo? im tired of this kinda shit happening, realtalks! highschool is highschool. that one movement from elementary. people DO change dramtically. well maybe not 'dramatically. but i do/did notice changes and i do not like it at all. NONE of my venting was directed to you (the person this is for) because yous a good friend to me. i wouldn't hide stuff like that from you. you asked me a question after you seen whatever and i answered you with TRUTH. trust. but it seems like yous avoiding me or something. what is this? like i love to say, when you ASSUME you make an ASS out of U not ME. yes, you aint an ASS but i think you're assuming tings and that's whats wrong. i just know it ! after i've known you for a while - a LONG while, you seem different and thats why i just know something's wrong. something's wrong and you're not letting me know. not like you let me know about anything that much anymore but if tings are bout me then please just let me know. yes im not up for drama and shit and no i don't want to loose my friends but if we talk, just talk about it then i'm sure everything will be just fine.
i vent a lot
Sunday, January 18, 2009 (3:35 PM)
from the last posts, because of some ghee who pisses me the eff off. no i don't even know if she's a girl or a man like forreal yous a fake and you needa back off my life! you bother me sooooooo damn much i wish i'd see you to just HURT you. well yes, violence is NO answer at all but you've got my blood pressure high !
take you down !
(3:31 PM)
live times friday - saturday : HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEXA ACHACON, ily !
hope you have a goooood one forrreal !
_________________________________
okay so this ruuuuude girl with the initials KM can flick off my scene.
im so ready to expose .
my heart's so ready to fall
(3:04 PM)
my heart, my hearts so ready to fall
but the fact I got it all,
it all means nothing if I ain't got love
missing that one thing,
one touch, one kiss,
I need that one thing
just that one more thing
one thing, one touch, one kiss,
I need that one thing,
just that one more thing,
is it too much to ask,
for a man that I can love who's gonna love me back?
give me that,
cause I need that,
really need that one thing
you bother me so much, posts bout you keep comin
Wednesday, January 14, 2009 (9:33 PM)
i swear yo. you're so effin rude. RUDE GYAL RUDE GYAL. come fucking correct. you always needa "POSSY" to like keep you together. mans are your life - yous a cyattie. YO HOE. ugh !#$% one day i am gonna snap ! shit. you can't tell how pissed i am in person because im just being nice. but when i burst all this shit out to you, oh man ! scrap ? i really don't care. not like i EVER seen you fight. and i admit that im scared to front. i'm not gonna lie. JUST LIKE YOU, you never ever tell people when you're so pissed, you just don't talk to them and tell everyone else how your pissed. YA so dont say shit. hm, leaving me like that, thanks. i don't care bout chu. for the people that's been mean and rude to you - amen to them ! you deserve it all, honest to god ! yous a bitch and a half and you needa get chur act together coz missy you are SO DAMN LUCKY i havent exposed you yet. you don't know how bad i wanna expose your name, but i dont wana really cause so much drama. im so temted to expose. AbCdEfGhIjKlMnOpQrStUvWxYz, your so lucky. motherflicker, you USE people for money. realtalks, make your own. you act so tough and shit and act like your so gangster and watnot its SO funny. i swear you don't even use your slang right. you make me so mad and you make me laugh AT YOU all at the same time. i don't know what else to say coz i've been saying so much already. i don't care if you say i'm "shit talking" coz im SO SURE you shit talk WAY MORE than me about so many people. and yous ALWAYS talking about mans like stfu cyattie. im not even the only one who talks about you round. nuff people heard bout chu - you waste. who only rely on mans. fuckthat! get fucking reaaaaaal ! you don't even know what chu call "mains" because tell me how your "mains" are people you JUST met and like people that you've known long are like what - YOUR GO TO for money. ahha, funnny... NOT! go sucka dick, i bet chu you'll get some money then. fucking slubag cyattie. you make me mad.
on the fuckin realz
Tuesday, January 13, 2009 (10:00 PM)
i swear to gawd. mans MUST be your life. because they become "everything and anything and everyone" just coz 1 or 2 can't do something its like the world's done to you. SLU DEM ! thats really all i hafta say. i swear im nice nuff to not expose who you are but whenever you find out, don't deny shit. because i have all this proof and my proof AINT lies cause lies are a bitch and i aint a bitch. when you ASSUME you make an ASS out of U not ME. kthanksbye. TAKE IT FUCKIN IN ! i swear you must be dumb to not know all these are bout chu. fuck maan. i don't got time for you but just know that i'm still there for you - i don't care if you're not there for me, there's better people out there.
EARLY,
Monday, January 12, 2009 (9:50 PM)
reaaaltalkz, i don't even know about you 'people' no more. the ones that DO got me are the ones that are far from me. and the ones that are close to me are the ones that DON'T got me. what is this? please stay fucking real. you guys keep changing and changing from a different person to a next. you act like kids, not knowing who you are. you don't act the REAL you. you guys just want to be like 'everyone else' ohplease. you're not doing yourself any good, you're just showing that you got no originality and you got no swag. come correct, holla at ya girl when you needa wake up calll. you make promises and always break them. obviously mans get to you guys so much its like "fuck fam" you guys act like sludems like mans are your life. word is fuckin bond. i write so much bout you fakes and you never know its bout you. its 09 and you're saying you're starting fresh. fuckthat, your changing into NOT a better person. like i said you talk so much, not knowing a thing. 'starting fresh, fresh start' im sure you'll stay the same, i'm just SO sure. like i said in my new years post. no one these days stay effin true, trust is forever and ever limited. i stay anonymous since you guys can't keep ya cool. honestly you say you're a friend and you really aren't. after the way you been acting and how you changed, your fucked in the head. get your effin priorities right coz its a hella mix up ! and so are you. get at me with something real - EARLY.
its been days,
Sunday, January 11, 2009 (12:38 PM)
its been DAYS since i haven't been on. AMAZING right? i miss talking to a few. ohlawdy, i can't live like this LOL. but youknow - staying educated = (y) dunkno, dunkno. poetry cafe tmrw & math test? - i dont even know, but ay 2 damn hours for a period now thats hectic.
im focused man !
Thursday, January 8, 2009 (7:28 PM)
okayokay. im finally pulling through staying 'foucused' you can say. me, the type of person to slack off and never ever do my homework.. this week, all i've been doing is homework and a project. ALL DONE, ALL DONE. im proud of myself, shut up ! LOL :) honestly tho, i've actually been doing it all properly ! my marks better go up now, i swear if it doesn't then what the fuck ! LOL. now i hafta study for some mid terms and tests. and i MUST keep this up for the rest of 09 ! hopefully i won't let things distract me because i'm doing pretty good haha. and for tests and watnot i must ALWAYS study no matter what. but tell me how when i do try and study i do bad anyways -.- i must study harder. i must keep this 'nerd movements' going. im doing me good ! just hope i'll stay this way for the rest of the year :) thumbs up, YES. i'm amazed with myself and so are others. shocked seeing me doing work and shit and finishing it all. thats fucking amazing right guys? LOL - go caaaaaasie YES ! doing homework - no worries, no stressing over "omg i didn't do my homework (again)" actually feeling good about myslef (LOL - so corny). completed homework - going out late, not worrying over homework and watfucking not. WHATEVER, im proud of myslef LMFAOOOO !
bye hater !
(7:01 PM)
you see me, hi bye hater. say things to my face. and wen you do, make sure their not lies.im not forgetting anything ! you cant even front up.when you decide to ill maybe forget...you cant blame other for your wrong actions.. thats stoopid. so like then again: say shit to my face oh and i dont deal with lies. like i said, trust is forever limited. never ever expect anything from me ever again, and stop tryna talk to me bout mans and mans i know fucking trick just wana chop em YOU MAN! WHORE! BITCH!FUCKER! ASSHOLE! !#$% SHIT DAWG. I DONT FUCKING CARE ANYMORE. i know you'll run off saying shit about me - do i care? no, coz i know you'll lie coz thats all you been doing.you've fooled many. especially man mans. i think mans are stupid for getting with you because they never even seen you coz you always FLOP on everyone. if you didn't notice, mans get with you coz your 'hot' to them (no homo) and coz you expose your effin cleavage in pictures like!? you effin slu bag whore. and you talk to mans gettin all horny talking bout sex with them. THATS WHY they get with you. no they dont love you. they just want your effing pusssy. you slu bag hoe. I KNOW THIS BECAUSE MORE THAN 1 MAN DEM TOLD ME BOUT YOU ASKING ME QUESTIONS ASSSSSHOLE! you got booked by your ex. don't say im running talking shit coz im not, your ex is the one telling all these people things so fucking mosss from me and get off my clit coz your talking shit when you dont know shit fucking trick. you make me so effin mad like shit yo. you THINK i say things and others are when YOUR EX is the one effing saying all these things bout yous a fake coz HE BOOKED YOU, asssshole your so stuupid. STOP FLOPPING ON PEOPLE FUCKING FUCKER. you make me so mad i use the word fuck too many times. i am DONE with you fuuck ! your wish is granted. why would you tell me that "im done with you" when you try talking to me like we're friends again? HELL NA. bitch, move from me ! i already said that from the first badass mistake you made so dont say it to me like its something coz its not. IM EFFIN DONE ! you waste as snake. 09, make movements, dont be a pathetic bitch ass slu out there forreal.
you make me better
Sunday, January 4, 2009 (2:42 PM)
talking to you bout it all made me feel better and more relaxed. you might've not told me everything and watever but thats okay. as long as you understand me then s'all good. i get the reason why you were acting the way you were. because of that hoe telling you lies saying i said something or whateverfuck. making you dont wana feel in a weird position. well guess what that hoe lies about everything so dont effin ever listen to her. shes breaking our friendship, letting it fade. but NO i won't let this pass. we've got a bond thats like pb&j. we stick. (well not really LOL) but when we talk, there's always many laughs and everyting just seems right that way. we joke and have many different conversations and i like it that way. your in a distance from me, but whatever, thats okay. as long as our friendship stays good, then i'm good. you said you're coming soon. no need for rush. if its you i got time - bobby tinsley's song time. you know how to hold it down forreal. talking to you is like a daily dose of tylenol ; you make me better. don't ever let a bitch ass hoe or anything get in the way and ruin what we have, our friendship. i want it to last, im sure you do too. make the best of it, its 09 baby and we're getting closer.
move from me
(2:06 PM)
you really don't know when to stfu. you lost my respect and trust already, shit. you can stop wasting your time talking to me tryna make me feel better but you're not okay so stfu. you made a mistake and you best learn from it. your fulla lies, no one even knows who you really are. what are you doing here? go back to where you really from. T.O's not where its at for you since you dont show yourself. you trick. everytime i ask you something bout the truth you never answer or you ignore it and change the subject. your little 'puppy dog eyes' and your 'aww babygirl' dont fool me. stop tryna be a sweetie pie, your a trick-ass-bitch. i honestly had enough. you talk so much when you don't know shit. stop tryna get into my buisness k like and stop talking about me with ____ your giving ____ wrong impressions which is making him feel weird k. telling him lies and watnot, YOUR breaking my friendship with this person and you better effin stop before i fucken expload or some shit coz of you. you lie too much to my face, shit. i swear if you'd ever show yourself up i'd step the eff up and say all this to your damn face but NO why should i make a day to meet up with you when you've flopped on like everyone in the world who try and make plans with you, EVEN your mans. how dry. so like im not gonna waste my time going somewhere to meet up with you when you're just gonna flop. shit. when are you EVER gonna step the fuck up and tell the damn truth to me? not only to me but to everyone. i'm not the only one you put down, i know nuff people you put down because no one really knows who you are. and for me, i just completely lost trust and respect for you. amazing how your so much older than me by like 3/4 years? and you act like a effin niner cyattie. fuck this 'respect your elders' ting. sorry but i aint gonna respect you if your gonna be a bitch and if you aint showin nuff. fuckofff straight. never ever in your life should you expect anything from me anymore. i dont got you sorry you just went too far and put me too down, you made me look at you a different way now and its done. thanks & never come again .
shit yo, stfu
Saturday, January 3, 2009 (10:22 PM)
stop tryna make me feel better coz your not. your making it worst for yourself even if i already lost my trust and respect for you by lying to my fucken face. you trick gtfo my life ha. 09 JUST STARTED and i already met a bitchass like you. also known as 'cyatties'. you tryna get in peoples buisnesss and yous a slu chopping mans on vibe getting all horny tryna get sex from them. then when they ask for chillage you flop.
i hope you read this knowing its for you. you pissed me off made me so vexxed yo. shit. you ruined it ALL for me and THAT PERSON plus for yourself - coz you just lost my trust. DONT call me babygirl.
i shoulda known - you trick.
(9:34 PM)
kso NOW i kinda DO know what happened. i should've known. im so stupid to ever tell you shit. gtfo now - i don't need you. my trust is straight on fucking lock. i had enough of you. im so sure you're the one who told 'insert person's name here' that kinda stuff even if i told you so many fucken times not to tell. and how am i so sure its you who told? coz you talk to that person nuff when you notice how far our convo's was going. and you just HAD to ruin things. another clue of me knowing it was you was coz when you asked me a certain question and i answered a certain answer i swear you went off and told him and he told you something, making you change your status on fb with saying I WONT LET THIS HAPPEN. well guess what misssy, nothing will fucken happen coz of you. i hope your happy that you lost a friend and my effin trust. home fucking wrecker aka slu. ugh you got me so pissed. i think i should say again that i didnt want this certain person to know ANYTHING so seceret (well not so seceret anymore.. coz of YOU) coz i knew it would ruin things and make this person feel akward if the same feeling wasnt there. but you just had to go out and tell ... my trust is effin limited.now dont talk to me about it tryna make me feel effin better about it coz your making it worse for me by lying to my fucken face you fucken trick. dont ever expect anything from me again. and stop fuckin stalking my wall. thank you & never ever come again you fucken trick make me so damn pissed.
it breaks me
(12:33 PM)
okay so i dont know what the fuck happened. it breaks me seeing how we're just fading like that. i didn't even get to tell you how i 'really' feel. i admit that i'm too soft to - just coz i don't wanna loose what we already have. it seems like we're fading and i really don't like it. how did this happen? did someone tell you things? i dont know but you must know. we use to talk 24/7 back and forth, many many laughs forreal. and know its like 2/3 sentences a day. what is this? when i say i don't wanna loose ya thats when i start to? word. karma's a bitch. imissyou? what is this. its so stupid. i hate this kinda stufff honestly i thought about you a lot. and that's all i'll expose, nothing more because im sure it'll get more different. i might've heard some things from people but i didn't believe em coz i wasn't hearing from you. maybe that got my hopes high a bit? but i know what i was feeling and i didn't tell you and now i feel like i already made a mistake for not saying nothing. 09 and already upset about something -ish, how sad. whatever no its not whatever because my trust is fucken on lock. i feel like someone told you stuff which made things change. stupid of me again.. you (being the person who this is for) won't probably even read this but i had to let it out some way. if you ever read this, its only when you'll know how i feel for ya. maybe not only but for now that is. and looking back at our convos (well i didnt really look back i just obviously remember) .. i wish you were here. if only you were, then i'm sure everything will be just fine. <3
self-explanitory
Friday, January 2, 2009 (7:07 PM)
Sometimes i wanna say 3 little words to you
but at the same time im scared - it might change tings
I wouldnt ever wanna loose ya', trussst b.
G`BYE 2K8 & WHADAP 2K9 !
Thursday, January 1, 2009 (5:31 PM)
happy fucking new year everyboooooday ! here's my not so little essay thing. i might've repeated some situations and problems or said things more than once but thats only coz they hit me hard and they made me think more than anything else and they made me see them or whatever it was in a different way now.
fresh start, starting fresh yes everyone will keep saying that since it's a new year but i'm so sure people will be the same. all the haters, snakes, 2faced bitches etc etc out there will still be there. 08's been a bitch but that's okay. from everything , the good and the bad i still learned from all the fuckery that happened and i want to leave my past behind but i know that's not gonna happen. i'll treasure the past even if it hasn't been the best to me. 08 - i've met many new people, made new friends and sadly lost trust in people. i lost trust to some that were really close to me and i didn't want that to happen but it did. i lost trust in some people for the fact being that they changed. they got their priorites mixed up, some used me and put me on the side as if i wasn't part of their life but i'm there to lend them money? fuckthat. knowing that some people put people or 'friends' they met a little while ago before the ones that they've KNOWN for more than a year. i'm through with the waste and bullshit you kinda people put me through. i do not need this in 09. even if i've lost trust in some of you i will still be there for you - i won't forget you. from the make ups and the break ups and the relationship issues i won't hold iti against you. i'm glad that we gave it a shot knowing that it ever happened between us and for that i'm glad. even if some of you have hurt me bad and you got me bad, i'm still happy. even if you left me looking weak people knew i could hold on strong. even if i said in the begining of this that 08's been a bitch ima still say that 08 was good to me. i learned from the mistakes and i'm not gonna take it in so much. i won't forget any of it. like kanye, everything i'm not made me everything i am. i know that 08 made me realize who were the ones who really mattered and for that i hope you guys don't change dramatically because i like you guys just the way you are. unlike a few that did change - i don't need you anymore. 08 also made me become a better person. even if through out the year i appeared weak from all the heart breaks and these stupid drama problems, all it really did was made me stronger and made my trust locked. 08 made me come off strong knowing who and what my priorities are. i'm no longer this little girl, i have thoughts with things and i'm not affraid to express myself. to the people i met this year, i'm really glad i met you all. some of you realize who i really am unlike them wastes agian. some of you guys did me good. amazing how some of you are the ones who were there for me through all my problems and issues rather than the ones i've known longer. now that's sad to the ones i've known longer alie? to the people i've vent to about my problems and help me come through, thanks for putting up with me honestly. you WERE there for me. i clearly don't need no more fuckery and bullshit in 09 yet i know it will happen. i know that 09 won't be perfect. we'll win some situations and loose some and i can't control that. then again i'll learn from the mistakes. i know that there WILL be problems and all won't be solved but whatever if that's how things will be then they will be that way. i'm looking for a better 09 tho i kinda think that my year will be the same as 08 except for the fact that i'm in a new school. it's true for some people that "highschool" will change you. well it didn't change me but it did change some of my friends knowing how they got everything mixed up. i try to help them stop being someone worse than themself but they don't come through. oh well, then again that's not my fault. for 09 i'm not gonna have any resolutions because they never work for me. but i'll TRY to do better in school haha. number 1 thing i will definatley try to do, no doubt. i won't let relationships get to me so hard coz i've realized that i should be happy they ever happened right. knowing we gave it a shot is good enough - i realized that. so i won't let a relationship or more like i won't let a man put me down. i know my priorities and i know who are the ones who do matter. i can't say i definately know who they are because i'm not so sure they will change. but hey i know who they are still. this 08 year - i've expressed myself a whole lot and it did actually make me become a better person. no it didn't change me it just made me a better person. it helped me come through problems knowing people were there for me to give me advice and what not.
2009, its a new year and we'll see what's coming. i'm not psychic and i can't predict the future. i'm hoping for another good year - with good and bad situations, then again my year can't come off as perfect .
Love,
Cassandra .
